Women have made important strides in business, yet discrimination and sexism in the workplace are still major obstacles to overcome. As if this wasn’t enough, the prevalence of self-inflicted hurdles makes it even tougher to get ahead. Indeed, women tend to experience greater levels of self-doubt and are more likely to underestimate their abilities. This holds them back from taking risks and seeking opportunities that lead to career advancement.
In light of this, we’ve identified 7 key self-sabotaging behaviours for women to ditch on the path to success.
- Selling Yourself Short
Women often sell themselves short in business, playing small to make others feel comfortable rather than acknowledging their strengths. While this may appear as innocent modesty, it can cripple your chances of getting that promotion or landing a dream job. Take a cue from the men on this one and don’t be afraid to shine. Focus on strengthening parts of yourself that will enhance your sense of self. Own your accomplishments just as you celebrate the achievements of others.
2. The Perfectionist Trap
Living according to unrealistic standards is a sure-fire way to sabotage your happiness. Perfectionism is a defence learnt from a young age and if not checked, will leave you feeling like a failure no matter what you achieve. Author Julia Cameron wrote in The Artist’s Way, “Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead.” She explains that it can lead to a debilitating, obsessive cycle that causes you to lose sight of the bigger picture. Setting goals is a good thing, but it’s also important to remember that we’re all fallible. Accepting the imperfection of humanity is a liberating gift, and people will respond to you better once you become comfortable with any perceived flaws.
Your voice is too important to get lost in the crowd.
3. Not Speaking Up
“When we avoid speaking up and expressing how we feel or what we need, we are sabotaging our self-esteem and allowing negative feelings to build up internally,” says Emily Roberts, author of the Building Self-Esteem blog. She encourages passive people to learn assertiveness and effective communication strategies. Stop playing the ‘nice girl’ and start speaking up, demanding the respect you deserve. Your voice is too important to get lost in the crowd.
4. All Talk & No Action
The pull towards making elaborate plans can be strong — but will only leave you feeling like a fraud if it’s something you can’t achieve. One of the most common self-sabotaging behaviours is procrastination. According to a leading expert on procrastination, Dr Joseph Ferrari, procrastinators purposely put obstacles in their path or choose paths that hurt their performance. “It represents a profound problem of self-regulation, often stemming from a fear of failure.” Although you may think you do your most creative work under pressure, this is often not the case. Stop looking for distractions while talking a big talk and start doing something real and achievable with your life.
Almost every woman has it to some extent: the disease to please.
5. Staying in a Job with No Room for Growth
Being comfortable can be great, but not when it stagnates your growth. Knowing when to move on is one of the hardest, yet most important, lessons of your career. Don’t be afraid to seek out new challenges and opportunities; you never know what could be in store if you just take that leap.
6. People-pleasing
Almost every woman has it to some extent: the disease to please. Bending over backwards for others can lead to people taking advantage of your niceness. According to social psychologist Dr Susan Newman, people-pleasers put everyone else before themselves and “fear being disliked”. Yet conversely, it can end up leaving you more alienated than ever and harbouring inner resentment. Stop being a doormat and learn to set limits.
7. Not Prioritising Self-Care
Taking care of your physical and mental health is crucial. Arianna Huffington, founder and president of The Huffington Post and all-round superwoman, became a self-described sleep evangelist after a collapse from exhaustion in 2007. She ranks her nightly eight-hours of shut-eye as a number one priority, adopting strategies such as switching off her cellphone and taking a relaxing bath each night before bed. Exercise is equally important when it comes to leading a healthy lifestyle — be it a daily walk, workout in the gym or Pilates session at home, make it a priority.
